Naruto: Intervention
by Aniya and Lizzia
Summary: All the Naruto Character's come for a "Professional" intervention. Rated for Language, and sex themes and more odd stuff. "THIS IS WHY IM HOT!" Itachi and Sasuke sang, grinding against eachother. "NO INCEST ON SCREEN!" "GAH! SUCH MANWHORES!"


**I don't own Naruto, and If I did, itachi would've lived, Sasuke never would've left, and- abunchofothercrap!**

**Intervention 1**

**Choji's Eating Habits**

_Throughout Naruto, Choji Akamichi seems to have the flair for eating things- and it gets on everybody's nerves as fuck! Today, Choji thinks that he's going to an all you can eat for fat people's buffet, but he's really coming for an intervention!_

Choji entered, with a huge smile plastered on his face, only for it to fall into deep sadness as he noticed Itachi, Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto, Ino, Shikimaru, Kiba and Akamaru, Hinata, Lee, Kisame, and Shino sitting around in a big circle, and at the end was an empty chair. Two People stood up and greeted Choji.

"Hello, Im Kowie," Kowie said, and then she gestured toward her assisstant. "This is my assisstant, Lynn." Lynn waved, then gestured toward the empty seat. "Have a seat, Choji."

Choji sat down. Lynn shot Itachi a flirty gaze, only to be shoved into her seat by Kowie. "Sit down, hoe." Kowie sat properly in her chair, strightened out her suit dress, and stared at her clipboard.

"We are all here to encourage Choji to change his eating habits, no?" she asked. Everyone nodded and Kowie continued. "So, we-"

The door burst open and Konohamaru burst in. "I WANNA BE A POEKMON MASTER!"

"GET THE FUCK OUT, KID!" Kowie yelled. "THIS IS A INTERVENTION OF CHOJI AND HIS FATASS, GET THE FUCK OUT!"

"Kowie," Lynn whispered. "Dont yell at the kid, speak soflty and understanding." She turned to konohamaru. "Please get the fuck out, you nasty little faggot."

Konohamru gapped. "Im telling my grandpa!"

"THEN GET THE FUCK OUT, KID!!" Lynn yelled. "NOBODY ASKED YOUR ASS!"

"I love how she handles children," Sasuke and Itachi mumbled at the same time. Lynn smiled and took a bow. Kowie punched Lynn in the face.

"BITCH, WE'RE ON FUCKINH CAMERA!" She yelled, then fixed her dress and continued. "We will now activate the truth gas, so Choji can know the real truth about his fatness and how it affects everyone!" Kowie slipped her mask on and yelled. "DO IT, LUCAS!"

The purple gas filled the room and everyone inhaled. The purple gas dissapeared.

"Now that is has been activated," Kowie said. "Let's start with-"

"I watch Pokemon," Sasuke blurted. "I think misty's hot."

Kowie blinked.

"_Your the reason for my life!_" Itachi sang, holding Sasuke. "_Your the inspiration!"_

_"_What the fuck-?" Kowie gagged. "Im going to vomit-"

Itachi, Sasuke, and Orochimaru- the child molestor- rang around the rosy in the middle of the room.

"_I am a superstar, with a big big house, and a big big car! I am a superstar, and I dont care who you are!"_ They sang. kowie slapped her forehead.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO MY GODDAMN SHOW!" She yelled. "LYNN-?!"

Lynn, with her mask off, was dancing with itachi. kowie smacked her head on her clipboard. Choji shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

"Can i leave?"

"NO, FATASS!" Kowie yelled at him "THIS IS MY SHOW! MY INTERVENTION! NOBODY WILL LEAVE UNTILL YOU REALIZE THAT YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!"

"_Baby come back to me!" _Sakura sang to Sasuke. _"You were always gonna be my love!"_

"_Im a barbie girl,"_ Ino sang. _"In a barbie wooooooooorld! Back in Plastic! it's fantastic!"_

Kowie got up and threw Ino out the window. "I FUCKIN HATE BARBIE!!"

"_Barbie's such a bitch!" _Itachi chanted.

"_She is just a wiiiiiiiitch!"_ Sasuke chanted.

"_We really hate her, why does ken date her?" _They both sang. Kowie threw her shoes at both of them.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! I HATE BARBIE PARODYS!"

Kisame walked up to Itachi and winked.

"_Hey Barbie? Wanna go for a ride?"_ He asked.

"_I'd like to, ken, but you have no, stick-shift, hehehe,"_Itachi laughed.

"Oh gawd," Kowie moaned, covering her ears.

"_Im a ken doll, im no fun at all," _Kisame sang.

"Damn right, your not," kowie mumbled, then looked at Choji. "Are we the only sane people here?"

"_What is love?"_ Naruto sang, head-banging and holding Hinata. "_Baby dont hurt me, no more."_

_"Wooohooowoohoooahuahhauh!" _Hinata sang.

"What the fuck?! LUCAS?!" Kowie yelled. Lucas, with a mask, walked in.

"Yes?"

"What type of truth gas is this?"

"The singing one." Kowie threw him out the window.

"_Im an emo kid,"_ Shino sang.

"There's nothing wrong with being Emo," Kowie said. "Just dont fuckin sing about it."

"_OO ee oo ahah ching chang, walla walla bing bang oo ee oo ahah ching chang walla walla bing bang UU!"_ Tenten sang.

"_GET OUT MY FACE, HOE! GET OUT MY FACE, HOE!" _Itachi and Sasuke sang.

Kowie tackled them and began to beat them up. Lynn, Hinata, and Sakura appeared behind her.

"_She's a man eater,make you work hard, make you spend hard, make you wish you never met her at all!"_

Kowie punched all them, then spotted Kisame and Orochimaru making out and groaned. "NOT ON CAMERA!"

"Five minutes left!" the speaker said. Kowie got on her knees and prayed. "God, kill me now-"

"_This is why Im hot," _Itachi and Sasuke sang, grinding up on eachother. Kowie gapped.

"NO INCEST WHILE ON CAMERA!!"

"_Promiscous boy!"_ Kiba started, but Kowie ounched him in the face.

"NO! I HATE TIMBERLAND! STAY YOUR ASS QUIET!"

"_Why cant we be friends?"_ Everyone except Kowie and Choji sang. Kowie threw her fruit salad at them.

"BE FRIENDS WITH THAT, BITCHES!"

Itachi picked up the fruit salad and everyone smiled. kowie held her hands up.

"No, please dont-!"

_"Fruit Salad!"_ They all sang, rocking bac_k _and forth, singing. _"Yummy yummy!"_

Kowie fell to her knees. "I can't do this. i wanted to be the best pshy-"

"_I wanna be, the very best!" _Naruto sang.

"Not that, dumbass,"Kowie yelled. "This five minutes is really long!"

"Hey kids, it's time for the poke'rap!" kiba yelled. kowie threw him out the window.

"THE HELL IT AINT!!"

"Show's over!" The announcement read. "In 5-"

"_i love you!"_ Everyone sang, including Kowie, who was insane. "_you love me-"_

**And so, intervention 1 has been concluded. Stay tuned after these sex-toy advertisements for more intervention- this time about Kakashi's urge to grope in public!**

**71248972157**

R&R, was this good? yea, i had pokemon in it, yea, Ill do more- with reviews, of course.

Flames burn the wicked in hell.


End file.
